Hail and Hearty

Some days you just have to curl up in a ball and hope things go away.
Today is one of those days.
The analysts of human behaviour who coined the term ‘fight or flight’ when describing how man (and woman) would react to danger, never thought there might be a third option. They’d obviously never been in a hailstorm of this magnitude.
And this hailstorm is on Brandreth, a fairly nondescript pimple toward the end of Leg 4, where I’m desperately trying to avoid my legs being given an exfoliation treatment of the sort that you’d pay good money for in a spa (not that I ever have, mind).
Nearby are Jarv and Dawn, a runner from Harrogate who has joined us for the day. I know they are nearby despite having my head between my knees, because I can clearly hear ‘ow’, ‘ow’, ‘OW!’. Yep, these hailstones are the biggest I’ve seen – about the size of marrowfat peas, and with a cunning, armour-piercing icy point designed to stab you through all but triple-layer Gore Tex.
Today’s route started just south of Rosthwaite and began with a steep climb up to Glaramara. I was feeling pretty fit despite a club recce of the Old County Tops race route the day before, which saw me run from Great Langdale to the summit of Helvellyn and back, while Jarv had gone on further, as far as Angle Tarn (yes, the right Angle Tarn – keep up), and Dawn had taken part in a 20-odd mile Long Distance Walkers’ Association event in the Yorkshire Dales. Therefore, much ribbing of me for shirking the hard stuff the day before.
From Glaramara, it was onto Esk Hause to pick up Leg 3 of the Bob Graham route. A turn towards Broad Crag brought heavy rain, low cloud and strong winds, so arrival at Scafell Pike saw caution dictating dropping straight down to Wasdale. Here we passed members of Wasdale Mountain Rescue Team looking for five lost walkers who’d set off without a map – but had a mobile phone! This meant they could phone for help when they inevitably got lost – although they couldn’t say where ‘lost’ was, or probably ‘found’ for that matter. Wishing them luck, and suspecting that the team rarely gets called out when good weather makes for an enjoyable walk/rescue, we pushed onwards and downwards.
The wooded car park at Wasdale provided some scant shelter from the rain for lunch, and then it was onto leg 4 with the climb up Yewbarrow. Sorry, but this year’s bilberry crop isn’t going to be particularly good as I flattened several bushes trying to find the right line.
We missed out Scoat Fell and Steeple due to low cloud, but Jarv, improvisingly freely, managed to explain what it looked like with just a rock and a piece of moss. Impressive. Except I don’t think Dawn thought so.

The summit of Steeple as recreated by Jarv. Note: not actual size.

On Pillar the cloud lifted and out came the sun, so the climbs onto Kirk Fell and then Great Gable were rewarded with some stunning views.

Dawn climbing ‘red’ gully on Kirk Fell.

I’d arranged with Helen (who’d been out running in Borrowdale with Helen Whitehouse) to pick us up at Honister so, once the hail had cleared, a brilliant rainbow came out on the last summit of Grey Knotts. We’d had just about every weather condition so far today – except a shower of frogs – so what more could happen just hundreds of metres from the car?
A clap of thunder so loud I nearly leapt out of my shoes. Oh great, that’s just typical…
Distance: 20 miles, 10,646 feet of climbing. Dawn’s food tip of the day: six or seven bananas (seven?) put in a blender and eaten the night before a race. Now that’s a hearty appetite.